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Pages: Question, if you will... [1]
Author Topic: Question, if you will...

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2010-11-11 2-46-47-

Question, if you will... My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We're very serious and have discussed marriage. It is something that we both definitely want, we are positive about that. We've also discussed having ren as well and are in total agreement. Here's the thing, when discussing a past proposal time, she made a comment that the ex never asked her father and mother for their blessing. I got the impression that it would be something she would prefer, but it's not a deal breaker at all. I've not met her family yet, but will be going home with her for Christmas. I'm planning on having that conversation with them at that time. During the interim, she jokingly will make comments about me proposing to her, etc. She's knows that I'm fairly old fashion and we've discussed getting her parents blessing before. Am I wrong to talk about having and getting married to her if I'm not willing to get down on knee at this moment? Is it like a tease to her? I certainly don't mean for it to be and I know she's joking, it's not her intention to put pressure on me but that's what is happening. Any thoughts if you don't mind? Much appreciated.
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2010-11-14 3-31-40-

Everything sounds fine, assuming that you are both old enough to be thinking about marriage and ren. Don't be in such a rush --- once you have , your life will be circumscribed in many ways and your freedom limited. Make sure you explore life and the world before giving up your freedom for rearing. of the things I found surprising about marriage is how you all of a sudden gain a new family, the spouse's. While you are still BF/GF, the family sees you as perhaps temporary, once there is a marriage you are embraced as family. So you are going to have a relationship with her family. And it would be a good move to get her dad's blessing before proposing. When you propose, do it in a memorable way. You want to have some good stories to tell.
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2010-12-04 7-28-29-

First you talk about how into marriage, etc. that you are, and that you plan on asking her parents for their blessing in just a couple of months. Then you say you aren't ready and that she is pressuring you. Now, because you have discussed it at length, she's expecting it any day now (at least around Christmas)once you meet and talk to her parents, and she will be sadly disappointed and hurt. No offense, but I feel bad for her - she sounds like she is ready, and actually counting on it. Maybe you should cool the talk for a while, even though it may be too late for that. Why would you talk to them when you aren't even ready to do it? They will be disappointed too.
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2011-02-08 3-49-33-

No, I am definitely ready. Sorry if my post was confusing, I would just like to wait for her parent's blessing. Due to the circumstances of our relationship, I would like to be on the best foot possible with her family.
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  • Klaus

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    2011-09-11 12-41-03

    sounds like you're on the right path You both are having open discussions about marriage, ren, etc. and you are ready to have the conversation with her parents. So what's the problem? Just because you have the conversation with parents doesn't mean it has to happen right away, just let them know that you are unsure of when but wanted to obtain their blessing nonetheless. Then wait for the right moment, I think you'll know when it's right, just be patient and ask her to do the same.
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    2012-04-10 12-12-40

    I think you need to get things straight between you and GF before worrying about her parents. There is nothing particularly wrong with talking about it with her parents, but if they objected for some reason or have different expectations on when you should get engaged or married how would that affect you, GF, and your plans? I think youneed to have consistent expectations on when an engagement should happen first. When you talk about it with her parents just be sure to be clear to them that you'll proceed on your own timetable, not theirs.
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  • Megumi

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    2015-06-10 13-39-12

    so your question is: now or inmonths? I don't think you're leading her on by waitingmonths until you can talk to her folks! That's not long at all. Hope I understood your question right -
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